A Series of Starsky and Hutch Oneshots
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: Exactly what the title says. A series of oneshots and missing scenes from various episodes! As each chapter is a stand alone story I have rated this as complete but that doesn't mean that I won't be adding more to it in the future!
1. Advantage Point

**Advantage Point**

"Hutchinson… Starsky!" Captain Dobey called the two Detectives into his office a few days after the arrests had been made into the attack upon Lloyd Herman Eckworth, and Hutch's girlfriend Abigail Crabtree. Hutch still bore the tell-tale scars of their vendetta, which had seen him severely injured and his girlfriend almost killed. His right hand was still heavily swathed in bandages, although nothing could compare to the pain he'd felt at having to let his girlfriend go. Following the attack, which had left her fighting for her life, she had decided that she couldn't remain in Bay City anymore and had returned home to her family.

"What is it Cap'n?" Starsky asked as the pair entered the Captain's office, closing the door behind them.

"I've just received a report from the hospital on that kid you arrested." He explained. "Tommy… Tommy Marlowe… brain tumour, lucky if he's got three months tops."

"Poor kid." Starsky sighed, as Hutch slid into the nearest chair, and he sat down beside his partner.

Dobey nodded. "It would appear that he's seen sick for quite some time, which would apparently explain his sudden change of character."

"Then I guess Arnie really did take advantage of the poor guy's situation." Hutch growled.

"Scum like Arnie don't care whose toes they tread on or how many lives they screw up." Starsky nodded in response. "So long as they get what they want in the end."

"Rest assured that Arnie's going to get what's coming to him." Dobey reassured the two men. "As for the kid, our hands are tied, there's not a judge or a jury in the city worth their reputation who could convict a dyeing minor."

Hutch sighed, expression haunted by the memory of what he'd seen in that dirty motel room. "I could have killed him for what he did to Abby… gone against everything I believe in." He snarled. "I became a cop to protect people, but when I saw the pain, the fear in his eyes, I thought… who was there to protect Tommy from the likes of Arnie?"

"We're police officers Hutch." Dobey looked across at him. "We do our job and we do our best, we all became cops to protect people, but we cannot save everybody… Tommy's in the best possible hands now."

"He's just a kid." Hutch sighed.

"I guess the street doesn't discriminate on age." Starsky said sadly, patting his friend gently on the back. "Life can be unfair… but there's still something we can do. Put our case together against Arnie, get justice for Tommy, Lloyd and Abby… you alright partner?" He asked him.

Hutch nodded, looking across at his best friend. In that moment the two shared a moment of mutual understanding – liquid blue pools meeting with sapphire orbs. It was a sign of a true friendship, and the close bond which the two men shared.

"Haven' you two got work to do?" Dobey barked.

"Yes Cap'n." Starsky nodded. This provoked a smile from the two men – despite the fact that Hutch's heart was still evidently heavy – and they immediately leapt to their feet and turned to leave the room.

They didn't notice the smile upon Captain Dobey's face as they closed the office door behind them, but they didn't have too. Everybody in the department knew how much he cared for and valued the two men. It wouldn't have affected him quite so much if it had happened to anybody else.


	2. Heart Strings

**Heart Strings**

In a single room of Memorial Hospital a tall and slender Detective with bright blue eyes and short blonde hair kept vigil over the curly brunette sleeping in the bed beside him. He looked to be in about his mid-thirties, although the trial of the last few days had haggard him somewhat, leaving him feeling tired and aged far beyond his years. The broken figure of the man lying in the bed beside him was his partner, and the two had been working the streets of Bay City together for the past few years.

He remained as still as a statue, too afraid to move in case he made a noise which woke the sleeping man, but when the figure in the bed stirred slightly he was by his friend's side in an instant.

"Hey," Hutch smiled Starsky opened his eyes. "How're you feeling?"

"Like I've just had three chunks of rusty metal taken out of me." His best friend smiled. "How about you?"

"I've had both better and worse days." Hutch admitted. "Better for not being in here, but worse because there was a time, only a few days ago when I thought I was going to lose you."

"You look tired." Starsky observed, frowning.

"I thought you were dead Starsk!" Hutch sighed, rubbing his hand over his face and holding his head in his hands. Starsky was right, he was exhausted, and he just didn't seem to have strength enough to raise it once it settled there.

It was the touch of his partner against his elbow which eventually made him look up again.

The two shared a look of mutual love and understanding. They'd worked together for so many years. The streets were busy and frequently dangerous for two cops. It was their special bond which had seen them through so much trial and heartache in the past though and the two men were as close as brothers.

"Nah," Starsky winked at him playfully, lightening the sombre mood. "Not a chance… besides, I knew you weren't." He said.

"How?" Hutch asked.

"I could still feel you in here…" He explained, pointing to the area of his chest where he knew his heart was. His torso was still swathed in bandages and the medication he was on was making him feel a little woozy but he thought he'd accurately located the general area, and he thought he noticed a tear escape from one of Hutch's bloodshot eyes and roll down his blanched cheek. "I wouldn't have left you alone blondie." He reassured him. "It's me and thee remember. That's a bond. A promise. Do you really think I'd renege on that?"


	3. Hearts Broken

**Hearts Broken**

"Hey Doc," Captain Dobey hailed the doctor in charge of Starsky's care. "I'm very worried about one of my officers, Hutch." He explained.

"Hutch?" The middle-aged man asked him with a slight frown wrinkling his forehead. His fatigue was evident upon his worn face.

"Yeah, the blonde-haired guy who just went in there…" Dobey pointed towards Starsky's room. "He and Starsky have been partners for many years, and…"

The doctor nodded in understanding at this however and the police chief found that he didn't have to say anymore. This evidently wasn't the man's first experience of dealing with an injured officer, and the knock on effect this had on all those who worked with him – but things were always especially difficult on the man's partner.

"I see." He sighed, looking in through the window of his patient's room. He saw Hutch draw up a chair as he sat down slowly at Starsky's bedside.

"Listen Doc, what are his chances?" Dobey asked, following his gaze and observing the scene too. Starsky was in a coma, there was no way of Hutch getting through to him to let him know that he was there, but that didn't seem to matter to the blonde. The captain knew that he would stay by his best friend's side until he woke up… or until the unthinkable happened. He wouldn't want Starsky to be alone.

The Doctor looked back at him, and he could tell by the look in his eyes that Starsky's chances of pulling through weren't great. "He's suffered massive internal damage… we're doing everything we can." He told him.

"Just give it to me straight Doc! We need to know!" Dobey snapped.

"Not… not great then I'm afraid!" The man sighed.

"Listen, if something happens to Starsky, I don't know how that would affect Hutch." The Captain explained as calmly as he could given the difficult circumstances. "Even now I can't be sure what this may be doing to him. I know that he's broken, and every moment Starsky spends in a coma is tearing him apart. They're like two halves of the same whole those two. I've never seen a bond as strong as theirs before, and I've seen some pretty close partnerships in my time!"

The Doctor nodded.

"Can you do me a favour?" Dobey asked him.

"I can't promise anything." The Doctor replied, although his tone was kindly and significantly suggested otherwise.

"Keep an eye on Hutch too?" He said.

"We'll do our best." The Doctor nodded.

"Thank you." Dobey sighed, before the two men departed company – the doctor off to do his rounds, and the police chief to keep what was likely to be a long and difficult vigil outside Starsky's room.


	4. I'll Stand By You

**I'll Stand By You**

You think I don't see Hutch, see past my own pain, but I see the look in your eyes everyday – and I know how lost you are. I see the sadness, and the silent tears you cry when you think I'm not looking. It tears me up inside to see how deeply you're hurting, and to know that I can't do anything to alleviate your pain.

My arms are wide open to you buddy, but I see your fear. I know how scared you are to talk to me, and tell me what it is that's bothering you. You're afraid – so afraid of losing me that you don't see that I'm afraid too – I'm afraid of losing you!

I'm strong – strong enough now to share your load – as you have shared mine! I'm ready when you are to open-up to me.

Don't be ashamed to tell us how you feel Hutch, we all share that same pain. Please don't bottle it up, nobody would judge you after all you've seen and after all we've been through. We've always come through things together before – remember it's 'me and thee'.

Let me help you through this. Please don't shut me out Hutch. Whatever it is you're currently going through I know that we can get through this together – because I'm scared too. I'm scared of what this now means for the both of us. I'm scared of losing everything we both once had.

I'm scared of losing you!

I know all about the nightmares, and the terror which grips you as soon as daylight turns to night. I hear you tossing and turning, crying out in your sleep, and I too know how it feels to relive that terrible, traumatic afternoon every night in your dreams.

Perhaps you think that talking about it would somehow make me lose my respect for you. Perhaps you see it as weakness. But in reality I think we both know that you are trying to protect me.

I know you Hutch. I know how you think, how you feel things, and what makes you tick. I know how you must be feeling, but believe me buddy, you're my best friend, you're closer than my own brother, and you are far from weak. You are one of the strongest people I know, but you are at the end of the day only human and nothing you tell me could ever possibly prompt me to turn my back on you. Nothing could ever make me love you less. Whatever happens, I'm here for you, we're in it for the long haul.

I'm not going anywhere.

I would tell you that I'll always be there for you, but recent events have shown us both that I can't promise that. Neither of us know what the future holds, but whatever happens I'll always be close. I can promise to always live inside your heart, as you will always live in mine – and that is something no-one can ever take away from us.

So if you're mad, get mad. Scream, cry, whatever it takes. Anything that helps you is alright by me buddy. Nothing you do could ever shock or surprise me. Just let me know how you feel. Talk to me. Please don't keep everything bottled up inside.

I get angry too Hutch! I know you don't see it, but I too wonder why sometimes. I ask myself why us Hutch? Why did this have to happen to us?

I'm filled with hate every time I think about Gunther! I resent the day our paths crossed with his! There's a burning rage inside of me, which makes me want to scream, and cry, and shout out to the world when I see what he has done to us – well, I guess I'm a lot like you. But you can't let it destroy you Hutch! You have to move on, you have to let go, we both do!

So when you're feeling lost, and confused, and you don't know who to trust, or which way to turn, or which path to choose, let me come to you. Trust in me. Remember 'me and thee', because I'm not going anywhere, and I'll stand by you!


	5. Lonely Day

**Lonely Day**

Today is the day you left me Starsk, or is it the other way around? Those bullets tore through you as though you were nothing. The act meant nothing to the men who fired them. Killing you was just an extra pay cheque in their next pay packet.

I was inconsolable when they first wheeled you into the hospital, and they tore you away from me.

Why didn't you listen to me when I'd told you to get down? For those first few seconds I thought I'd heard you behind me. I imagined you covering my back, as I'd got yours. But now I realise that the sound was in fact their bullets as they tore through you.

Was this really all my fault? I think the nurses were a little worried about me to begin with. I must have been in quite a state as I don't really recall very much after finding your damaged and broken body. I think I managed to pull myself together though. I knew that they need to focus on you.

I remember all the times that we've nearly lost each other in the past, but we've always been there to console each other when the going got tough. Now you've gone to a place where I can't reach you. I feel so alone, even though I know that I am not… not really. Captain Dobey and Huggy do their best, but they're not you Starsk. I hope it's peaceful where you are buddy, and that you feel no pain.

Sometimes I wonder how many more times we're going to have to go through this. To keep on having to endure this uncertainty is torture. Sometimes it feels as though we're living our lives constantly on the edge, fighting for our survival, and I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on without you.

At some point somebody out there is going to have to take it upon themselves to say enough is enough, to hold their hands up and call an end to this vendetta, because there's only so much heartache one man can take.

Inside I'm crying… I'm calling out for help… I'm screaming aloud for you. I don't know how to handle this pain… I don't even know where to start. I'm fighting to hold myself together for you, but every time I see you lying so still in that hospital bed another small piece of me dies. I'm beginning to lose hope of you ever waking up.

I envisage myself down on my knees, begging you to come back to me to me… but I know you can't. Not at the moment anyway, if indeed you ever will. I want to scream, and cry, and shout, and swear, and take all the pain out on the people responsible for this. I want to make sure they pay for what they've done, and then I want to lose myself in grief… but the worst part is knowing that none of it would make any difference.

Today has been the loneliest day of my life.

I sometimes wonder why it seems as though life has become a constant struggle just to survive. How anyone should be expected to live with the knowledge of what they might lose?

I wonder was anything we did ever worth all this? Where you've gone I can no longer follow, and I feel as though I'm teetering on the brink of something impossible for even me to understand. We've always had each other, a reassuring shoulder to cry on, or an encouraging word to spur the other on, but that's all gone now. It's all been taken away from us.

I can no longer hear your voice in my ear, and I've never felt so alone, or so scared.

There's a part of me which hopes that one day we may look back on this time together, and see it as just another bump in the rocky road which is life that we survived… but another part of me has my doubts. I know that you're dying Starsk.

I hope you can hold on for me and prove the doctor's wrong, but even if you do I'll never forget the pain and suffering which the thought of losing you has caused me. I'm living a half-life, holding out for that missing part of me until you come back to me again, and make me whole once more.

We did everything together Starsk, it's always been 'me and thee'. We had each other's backs covered… best friends… closer than brothers… two halves of the same whole.

My life isn't worth living without you. I'd take your place in a moment if I thought it would make any difference, but I know it wouldn't have been any easier the other way around if it was me lying in that hospital bed instead of you… but if you die that would spell the end for me. I can't live a life without you.

Open your eyes, reach out your hand and take me to a place where I can reach you. Please, come back to me Starsk, and make me whole again.

Today was the loneliest day of my life.


	6. Looking After Hutch

**Looking After Hutch**

"Hey Hutch, you ok there buddy?" Starsky asked as he watched his partner's head slump backwards against the car seat, before being propelled forwards. He's eyes were closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing his eyes wearily. Starsky was having a hard time negotiating the Ford Gran Torino through the busy afternoon traffic at the high speed at which they were travelling whilst keeping an eye on Hutch at the same time, but somehow he'd managed it so far despite his mounting concern for his best friend.

"Yeah, s'ok Starsk." Hutch slurred. "Just feel a little dizzy that's all."

After Hutch had received the heavy blow to the head from Colby - their former friend - Starsky still had no clue as to how long he'd been knocked out for, nor how long it had taken him to find his partner in that condition. Even so, the adrenalin of the pursuit shortly after the incident had appeared to disguise any evidence of an underlying head injury, until now…

The sight of his friend now sat, pale and evidently in pain, beside him, made Starsky's blood boil.

The car radio suddenly crackled into life and the sound of Captain Dobey's voice pulled him out of his trail of thought, and back to the current situation. He needed to take care of Hutch, but he couldn't do anything whilst they still had Colby in custody.

"Zebra Three… Zebra Three, this is Captain Dobey, what's your location?" The man asked.

"Hey Captain," Starsky responded, picking up the receiver. "I'm going to drop this punk off at the station." He explained, turning to look in the rear view mirror at the figure of Colby, sitting in the back passenger seat behind him, before turning back to a now semi-conscious Hutch, and adding, "Then I'm going to take Hutch to the hospital."

"Why?" Dobey asked, somewhat alarmed by this, and although Starsky couldn't see his Captain's face, he detected the note of deep concern in his voice.

"Well he doesn't look too good Captain." Starsky explained, observing Hutch beside him with a critical eye. The man was growing paler by the second. "I think he might have concussion or something."

There was a slight pause as Dobey took all of this information in. After a moment he sighed audibly in response.

"Right… well, keep me informed. Get back here as soon as you can." He said, faltering slightly.

"Will do Captain." Starsky replied as he quickly replaced the radio's receiver.

Suddenly Hutch turned to him, face blanched and now beginning to take on a distinctive green hew. Cold sweat was beginning to gather on his brow. His body went rigid, and his eyes grew wide with panic.

"Starsk, I feel sick." He told him.

"Oh, hang on buddy." Starsky soothed, as he immediately pressed his foot down on the accelerator, increasing their speed by a few extra miles per hour - although it quickly became apparent that the protestations of his partner's stomach weren't going to make it as far as the Bay City police station.

"Starsk…" Hutch groaned.

"Oh, not in the car, please Hutch." Starsky begged him, as he immediately hit the breaks and - pulling the Ford Gran Torino out of the heavy line of traffic - swerved towards the curb. The car finally came to an abrupt stand still as it hit the concrete curb with a heavy jolt.

Hutch quickly managed to unbuckle his seatbelt, and - throwing his passenger side door open urgently - leapt from the car with only a few seconds to spare before his abdominal muscles began to convulse.

"Don't you dare move!" Starsky warned, pointing angrily as Colby as he got out of the car and raced around the other side to check on Hutch, who he now saw was in the process of throwing his guts up all over the road.

Cars were swerving slightly to avoid getting their windows, bonnets, and wheels splattered. When he'd finally finished - Starsky still rubbing his back soothingly as his partner remained doubled over, hands on his knees, still trying to catch his breath - the curly haired brunette asked;

"Better buddy?"

As the blonde Detective looked up at him Starsky was relieved to observe that he was now at least beginning to get a little of his colour back.

Hutch nodded. "A little… thanks Starsk.

Starsky smiled. "Don't mention it."

After a couple more minutes passed he helped Hutch back into the car. Colby hadn't moved and when Starsky next looked to him he thought the man looked slightly concerned - maybe even a little sorry. Perhaps memories of the many good times they'd once shared as friends hadn't completely evaded him. Perhaps there was still a small part of the old Colby left - the part of the man they'd known, not the stone cold killer he'd become.

But Starsky didn't care. He tore his eyes away from the figure of the man he now no longer recognised. Sitting in the back of his car was just another criminal, another piece of scum that needed to be processed and locked up before he could focus on what was really important - looking after Hutch.


	7. Thee and Me

**Thee and Me**

The pain searing in Starsky's head and left shoulder was excruciating. His back throbbed with the pressure of the single offending bullet still embedded in it, and every minute which ticked by - no, every second - during which he remained in such a state of agonising pain was exhausting. Despite this however Starsky knew that none of this had anything to do with the persistent and troubling pain in his heart.

Hutch was about to go head to head against two armed professional killers with a gun which was to say the least a little short of inadequate, and all joking aside the idea of losing Hutch now was unthinkable. It was more painful than any gunshot wound, and tore him apart so completely that the thought alone had the power to totally destroy him.

Starsky's life without Hutch would be unbearable!

"Hey, Hutch," He sighed. "Hey…"

"Yeah?" The blonde replied.

"Come here."

"Yeah?" Hutch asked as he knelt down beside him.

"I was just kidding about the teeth."

' _Stay safe… please, don't leave me now Hutch! Stay with me!'_ Starsky said a silent prayer.

"Yeah." Hutch smiled, patting his partner reassuringly on the shoulder as he inclined his head affectionately to rest against Starsky's brown, curly locks.

"See ya." Starsky whispered, before Hutch made to get up. Both realised what the other was thinking in that moment, and hoped against hope that the other would make it… and that this wouldn't be the last that each saw the other alive.


	8. Wounded

**Wounded**

Hutch, I know Gunther's bullets hurt you more severely than you'd ever care to confess. I see the pain in your eyes every day and it tears me apart to see you suffer, but your hell has got nothing to do with me. The whole time I was in a coma in the ICU I was completely oblivious to everything… pain free, fear free. Those few days of hell were your hell Hutch… those terrifying first few days of uncertainty, I felt no pain… how can I make you understand that?

I know you think that time will heal us both, and perhaps it can, given a chance, heal the physical scars left by Gunther's bullets, but the emotional damage I see every day that you've sustained is going to take much longer to heal. I can only hope that one day soon you will feel strong enough to talk, open up to me and let me know what's going on in that troubled mind of yours.

We miss the old you Hutch; the happy, relaxed, independent and strong willed person you used to be. I miss my partner, and best friend. I miss all the good times we've shared together over the years; dinner and beer at Huggy's, double dates, and knowing that either one of us was only at the other end of a phone line if we ever needed help. I miss all the trials we've come through which have tested the strength of our friendship, all the people who have tried to weaken and divide us not realising that all they were succeeding in doing was making us stronger… well, they haven't broken us yet Hutch, are you really going to let them break you now?

You used to tell me everything, we used to tell each other everything; about what we were thinking, how we felt. Now I can see the distance in your expression. So frequently you seem so far away… and most of the time you look at me as though you're afraid I might break. I can see it in your eyes that you're scared to talk, to tell me what it is that's eating you up inside, but I'm strong enough to help you bear your burden buddy… I promise you I'm not going to shatter. I can be strong enough for the both of us! A few words a day could lessen the load in the long run, but no matter how long it takes I'll be waiting and when you're finally ready to talk I'll be right here ready to listen.

I see you carrying the weight of your load alone; suffering in silence… sometimes you look as though you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. You're so tired, although I know you try to hide it, but you can't hide the dark circles under your eyes, or your pale and prominent cheekbones, your sunken appearance. You're losing your fight for life, relinquishing the will to carry on weighed down by the load of the emotional burden which you carry… and day by day all I can do is stand back helplessly and watch as you slowly give up.

I know you still have nightmares… I can see it in your face that you're afraid to sleep, afraid to close your eyes in case of what you might see, that you might relive every moment of that painful memory in your nightmares… and from the adjacent room I lie awake every evening and listen to you cry out in your sleep, as I realise that you dream of Gunther, of the police parking lot where our lives were almost changed forever, and it breaks my heart. I want nothing more than to reach out and comfort you, to put a reassuring hand on your shoulder and tell you that everything is going to be alright… but you seem so fragile I'm afraid to, in case to break down those barriers you've built up around yourself would be to break _you_ , to break your spirit, and your resolve… and I realise that this is something which you've got to work out for yourself.

I wish I could just break down the walls which you've now sealed yourself within… to see you do all the things we used to enjoy together after a busy day spent patrolling the streets; to hear you laugh, to see you smile, to see your familiar face down at Huggy's again, head held high, and Gunther's name just a vague memory associated with a point in time which we survived… to show them all that you cannot and will not be broken.

Thee and me… you covering my back, knowing that I've got yours… the two of us back on the streets again doing what we both love to do, and what we do best. That's what I dream of… but I know we're both still a very long way off from that, we've both still got a long way to go.

You seem so sad, a shell of your old self, I'm afraid to let our old friends near you, even Huggy and Captain Dobey, in case you might break. I see the concern in their eyes for you, as they too see you suffer. But I know that friends are what you need around you at the moment, to help give you the strength to pull through… and I know that together we can beat this, and whatever emotional turmoil you're going through now will one day be nothing more than a distant memory.

Remember you've still got your pride partner, somewhere within you is still the strength to hold your head high, even when all those crooks out there think that we've been broken, that they've won… I know you're strong enough to show them that you cannot be beaten.

I know that you can put all of your fears behind you buddy… it's finally time to show them all what we're made of… to have them running scared from us again.

Don't give up on us Hutch, don't give up on everything we've worked for, everything we've fought for over the years. I want my partner and best friend back… and behind those blue eyes I still see flickers of the old you battling to get out. I can see that there's still fight left in you yet… you've got to cling on to that fight Hutch, for your own sake, for me… we've got to get back out on those streets again, doing what we both love to do, if not what else is out there for a couple of mugs like us? Hold on Hutch, I know you can make it…


End file.
